Loving Those who Disagree

Have you ever just been in that situation where you are trying to explain a simple and obvious environmental, political, or social concept, and the other person seems to be actively ignoring facts and being stubborn? They have a bunch of weird ideas that don’t really line up with each other, but they are dead set on not hearing you, countering you, etc…

There are many reasons people do their things.

I’m not trying to tell you this is the only reason. Above all, every person is on their own path, and your belief may not even be right for the path they are on. It’s not really your job to absolutely change their mind. Planting seeds is a HUGE step, and sometimes it’s all you can do!

…But here is some social science for ya, to get you to a better level of understanding with your fellow human, which will increase peace in your own life.

To start everything off just right in life, there are layers of programming that are done to a person before they have even left their mother’s womb and entered the world. It can become impossible for some people to separate from their deep, subconscious programming. Your personal programming depends very strongly on where you grew up and what the beliefs were that you grew up around.

People are largely programmed to be the way they are by the time they are 6 years old. A lot of that happens before we are even 3.  But change can be made, and beliefs can ABSOLUTELY be changed… IF that person chooses to change.

You can always have hope, but don’t expect to change anyone. A number one way to help someone change is actually through complete and unconditional love and acceptance.

So Always Love Without Limits!

Every person and situation can use more love than it already has. Bring it on.

Love can only help the world heal. This is one freedom that nobody can take away from you, even if it were to become illegal. But it’s also a muscle to be flexed and grown in order to be usable and effective. So start learning to love yourself just 1% more today.

The brain is an intensely complex mechanism that nobody should try to even pretend to understand.

However, we do know a LOT about it, and what we know can help us. You can gain a little perspective and acceptance by understanding just how deeply ingrained certain beliefs can become, depending on the company one has kept or the region they live or grew up in.

I refer to this idea as “mass consciousness as it shapes individual values and cemented beliefs”,  and it’s a force to be reckoned with.

We will get there in time.

If you happen to get into an argument with somebody, or disagree on the topic so severely, just try to remember all of this.  It helps the love and compassion grow.

And remember that you have the freedom to love them with all of your heart, regardless of what they believe, or how they behave. If not to love them, you can still reserve your energy by not hating on them. Take your love and shine it some place else!

When they get snarky with you it could likely be a defense mechanism for the discomfort they are feeling in light of new information that they don’t know what to do with. They may be feeling their beliefs being challenged. Check out the blog post called “Why You Gotta Judge Me, Neuroscience?” for a deeper explanation.

And when you feel your own defenses going up, be sure to keep yourself in check as well.

Can you re examine some of your own beliefs and responses and make sure that you are not reacting out of pure defense? Or maybe more specifically ask yourself what you might be defending if you were in defense at the moment.

Is there something to be learned from what this person is saying or how they are acting?

It’s very important to listen to and consider the ideas of people with different viewpoints than yours. We’re all looking for different avenues to the SAME outcomes- personal security most likely,  and we can see that if we stop and listen.

People also have lots of ways of making themselves oblivious if the truth hurts too much to admit. These so-called lies are reality for this person at this time. Countering them is pointless and sometimes detrimental. You will need to find a different way in. Try to talk about common underlying goals you both may have.

Also, pick your battles. Is it really worth it to fight with this person and potentially damage your relationship?

This “guarding yourself from the truth” is one reason why people will vote for the sleaziest possible candidate that goes against half of their values. The mind is a complex thing once again.

It is quite possible that a person this defensive is a victim of mass consciousness or early programming. We all are, it’s just that some of us are luckier with our programming than others. Because of this they are- in essence- finding justifications for their behaviors to protect their psychological egos.

Growth and change can be terrifying to the ego. The person will not not know this, don’t bother pointing it out. Calling out the ego will most likely make them more defensive and resistant. This is information for your own understanding and peace, and you can also use it in your strategy.

Realistically, there may be nothing you can do about their deep seated beliefs except love them unconditionally, live your life according to your own values, and show them how wonderful it is that way. Show them through daily life how YOUR life and satisfaction are transformed by your greener, more ethical way of living.

And so important… the freedom to love is here!!!

The freedom resides within your heart and soul to love whomever you want, for any reason or no reason whatsoever. I choose to love openly and freely with all my heart, even if I can’t stand the personality and beliefs of the person I am loving. I believe that just putting out as much love as possible is one of the main keys to a satisfying life. But I’m not the only one who does this and believes so strongly in it.

While our societal structures are still far from perfect and we work on them from many angles, the perfect antidote to the whole huge, overall “situation” is to love more. Spread love far and wide, teach others to do the same, and love more openly and freely with every opportunity.

That is your freedom.

So much love to YOU!!!

Xoxo

BetsyD

 

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