Habits and thoughts control our lives, so it’s worth it to take control!
Some foundational information you need to understand is the series of events that happens in your system before, during, and after every habit you’ll ever do. I’m talking about habits down to things like brushing your teeth because your mouth tastes bad, eating because you’re hungry… or big ones you wish to break, like smoking, chewing your nails, or overeating regularly. Even negative thought patterns!
Be sure to click here to read the previous blog post in this series if you missed it! It contains the base info that you need to gain control and have the most powerful affect on your habits and life. And if you’d like each blog post in this series to be delivered right to your inbox, opt in here!
The three step pattern that happens that keeps your habits cycling is this:
Often these are deeply subconscious, and take some time to uncover and modify. But you can do it!
First comes the cue:
Some type of stimulus or event that begins the loop. Hunger and specific food cravings can also begin the loop, or any action. Many actions automatically follow other actions.
Unrecognized emotions like fear, sadness, anger, and frustration are the number one stimuli that’s the hardest to correct, only because they’re hard to notice from the person’s point of view before they have escalated.
Once they are acknowledged though, it’s mostly a matter of tenacity, love, and repetition, unless your habits are attached to scarring childhood events. But yes! We can work through all of that as well! That info will come at the end of this series, so opt in to have the whole series delivered to you in order.
SO. Take the time to realize your cues, and adjust and eliminate them as much as possible right off the bat.
Next comes the routine:
“The routine” is most often the habit you want to make or break. But it also includes daily automatic processes like whatever your series of routines is when you get out of bed in the morning. Getting out of bed triggers you to brush your teeth, which triggers you to shower…
Or whatever it is you do in the morning- including being grumpy or cheerful! All of that is basically all cued up in your nervous system and brain mechanisms before you even wake up. Checking social media or surfing the net first thing when you wake up primes your brain to want to repeat that frequently throughout the day. So wait at least an hour after waking to check your email and social media, fun memes, videos, articles,and the like.
But you CAN get control and change it if you want to!
On the “negative” side, a routine could be skipping breakfast (routine) cuz you’re stressed (cue), by watching the news (cue), and finding yourself aggravated or sad about the world for too long afterwards- possibly overeating, smoking, or indulging in another unwanted activity (routine). Other detrimental routines are chronically reaching for convenience food instead of fresh food, negative self-talk, and thousands of others. The possible personal cues for any of these are countless, so it’s important to find yours and cut it off as best you can.
And finally, the reward:
Usually, the process of indulging in the old habit is the reward, so it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Most times, the reward initially came from an outer source at some point, and could have been a coincidence or misinterpreted as a “result” of a certain behavior on a deep subconscious level.
Think of superstitious athletes that wear the same socks for years on end without washing them, because something makes them believe that that’s part of what makes them win. But actually, them thinking they’re going to win is what makes them win! Use this to your advantage.
But this can be much worse. If you repeatedly eat junk food when you’re really hungry, that creates a very strong bond (your body will get very attached to junk food instead of real food) and pattern that reinforces itself in a deep way. And one that will damage your life and well-being over time.
Once again, you can use all of this to your own benefit- to build the habits you want and break the ones you don’t!
Find clever ways to reward yourself after switching up the routine to reinforce a new behavior. Make a list of silly and serious, and big and small rewards that you could randomly pop on yourself at any given moment. Even if it’s just a piece of candy or an actual moment to pat yourself on the back and feel great.
You can also trace your steps backwards to figure out what the que was that started the whole cascade into your bad habit or procrastination in the first place.
From there, you can learn to avoid the que behavior or situation.
The process is simple, but the reality is that it really does take effort and tenacity to build and break the habits and thoughts that will serve you best in life and make you happiest. Shedding old unwanted thoughts, beliefs, and habits can definitely throw you some curve balls, but YOU are awesome, and you have the power to gain control!!
Step by step guidance and accountability is a game changer! In my 3 week e-course, we spend several days getting into each of these principles in great detail- and how to use them for your benefit, plus personalized plans to follow when resistance or old ways are hanging on extra tight to move you into the habits you want! That’s right- personalized!
If all of this is sounding amazing, and you’re ready to upgrade some habits, thoughts, and beliefs and change your life forever, check out the course description for “Make or Break Any Habit or Belief You Want- While Loving and Healing Yourself” Right here!
See you soon!