Is it Transmutation, Depression, Anger Issues, or Spiritual Bypassing?

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Is it Transmutation, Depression, Anger Issues, or Spiritual Bypassing?

Transmutation is not an excuse to spiritually bypass or stay safely in your comfort zone.

Do you have any idea how uncomfortable true transmutation can be?

The energies on this planet have had me feeling a revolution coming for about 15 years… rumbling… building…

I am so sorry for all of the loss, in every caliper. I’m so humbled and empowered and inspired by everyone taking action and speaking up and watching the whole world’s proaction to this. .

No time like the present to be an empath! Even a healed one in control of her energy field. I actually ended up spending most of yesterday actively concentrating on transmuting SOOO much anger energy from within and the world for this!

A lot of people use the word transmute. But what does it mean?

It means to transform something into something else. Metals can transmute into other elements under the right conditions. Also, think of coal turning into diamonds under the right amount of pressure.

What does it look like? Lots of different ways, for sure! People want transmutation will be about singing “la la la,” choosing peace, and positive visualization, having a great life, and choosing happiness.

That’s a huge part of it! But sometimes you gotta roll up your sleeves and get into the nitty-gritty. Sometimes an energy is not going to leave you alone (insert  “world is a mirror” reminder here ?) until you let it pass through.


My best portrait of you…


Do you think all that pressure was comfortable for the coal/diamond, or took zero effort for the Earth? What would happen if that pressure were never allowed to pass through to a point where you could actually mine out the diamond it left behind? Probably an explosion at some point, destroying the diamond that had been so carefully created.

If you have really been sent here to transmute world energies, you’re going to have some gnarly days…

And you’re going to have to train your mind to realize what’s going on and not take you spiraling down an ugly rabbit hole when this happens.

Cuz if you stumble too close to that rabbit hole, it will strip you completely of your power and lead you away from your mission. And you’ll beat yourself up and suffer so flippin’ hard thinking your stuck, depressed, and hopeless in low vibrations and old thought/emotional patterns.

If you know what’s happening, you can feel empowered and mission driven- albeit intense AF and about to pop- instead of feeling like a basket case and not understanding why- or falling back into old stories about your stuckness, mental health, etc.

I most frequently do the transmutation where I’m so happy in bliss I could just burn off any negativity for several yards around me. People think I’m weird and annoying.

Coming from my teenage and 20 something world of hardcore punks and people lost to drug addiction, I have to remind myself that I AM NOT THEIR STORY OR OPINION OF ME- even though I became it for a time, trying to fit my little teenage starseed ass in somewhere besides mainstream society.

I am NOT lost or depressed. And I am NOT annoying or manic depressive. I am an empath, transmuting the collective negativity of the planet.

Some days that looks like a 39 year old running and dancing through the sprinklers at the public park at 8am with nobody but her dog. Other days it looks and feels like a sack of wrinkly old potatoes, starting to stink, about to turn into that nasty slime, BEGGING to be put out to compost.

Ever felt like a sack of rotten potatoes?


And Little Baby Jesus knows I’ve put in decades of back work to get BACK to this point of understanding and happiness. I was definitely born happy, then trained by society to believe it was not okay to act like that- and that I was supposed to be upset, depressed and confused… not happy and free. Sound familiar?

And due to the programming that depression is normal and happy is annoying, it takes repetition and practice, and more rewiring to recognize when I’m transmuting negative as well.

Ego tries to take me down the story of “I am verging on mental illness, I’m not who I pretend to be,” every blasted time. Whether my transmutation be happy, sad, or mad, ego comes in to try to shut it down and rewrite the story to “woah is me, I’ll probably die depressed.” Or “you’re spiritual bypassing, you’re not supposed to feel ok right now.” With ego in charge, you cannot win this one or even do your work.

The truth is, I am not who I was pretending to be when I was depressed. I’ve always known that I am bliss and love.

Here’s an example of the uglier side of transmutation and keeping an eye on your thoughts, emotions, and stories so they don’t strip you of your power:

What active, not so blissful transmutation of dark energies broke down to for me yesterday was basically laying in bed or outside feeling like my body was vibrating me off the planet for hours on end. Total brain fog. SOOO angry, but I couldn’t even feel it unless I concentrated on the sensations. Then I was so angry I was frozen, with nothing to do but sit with, feel it, it and tell it I loved it.

I become completely avoidant of all activity when I’m in this state, to the point of mistaking it for anxiety, sliding back into depression, and slacker-ism repeatedly. And SOOO SENSITIVE.  I consciously feel the strong need to be SO tender with myself.

I can have just about anything I want when I am in this phase (careful with shitty food that perpetuates the cycle- see the “DIY Happy” section of the website for more info).  I cannot make myself do anything when I’m in this state. If I try, I land in cycles of negativity and self-abuse, and end up feeling even worse.

And most importantly, it looks like me doing the actual work of leaning into it and allowing it to pass through.

Laying down, diving in, and doing the mucky transmuting no matter how intense, instead of distracting myself trying to feel better or be “productive”  …AND Keeping my brain from trying to create other stories about it.

Feeling alternating self love and fake self hate from my past stories and patterns, absolutely BEGGING to be my truth once more. BEGGING to take over and send me in a downward spiral. Nope. No more. I know my purpose and I know what’s happening now.

Let it be, and let it pass. And tell old ego stories to take a hike!

 I am an agent of light and change, and I work heavily in the shadows some days- so much that sometimes I almost become one for a moment.

For the win, for sure! But it was wicked intense this time… I can’t even tell you how many times the phrase “f*** you” went through my head and energy field yesterday… I ended up taking about a minute and just chanting it as a mantra to diffuse it out of my system.

This kind of insane intense planetary shadow processing and energy work is ONE of “my lanes” and hugely uncomfortable, even with an understanding of what’s happening. Avoiding it and just feeling like shit all day has been the default until recently.

It takes a lot of power and thought control to sit with these dark energies in this way. My story wants it so badly to be a panic attack. Or that I’m a depressed, lost loser who can’t get it together and do some work.

It just isn’t. Sorry brain.

This is some of the hardest work of all.

This is also among  the most important work of all. You might as well get on board with the new story so we can stop suffering even more. This, my darling mind, is transmutation.  This is us, together- yes, that’s right- this is you and me, ego, and countless others, banding together to evolve this beautiful gift of a  planet… and the entire Earth realm.

Things to note are as follows. 

Transmutation shouldn’t be happening on a constant regular basis on a negative level like this. Maybe 1-2x per month or so…

If this is happening you probably still have your energy field too open and available. And you also probably have some of your own inner work to still do that is also triggering this open invitation for negative energy to come into your field. It’s not your job to transmute all negative energy.

Some of it will demand to come through if you have been ignoring it and it’s meant for you, but you don’t need to absorb it. And you must be selective or you will self-destruct!  It can knock on the door, but unless it is breaking down the door, YOU CHOOSE  what you allow and work with. If it demands in: Sit with it, listen to it. Make it (and yourself) some pancakes get really still and quiet, feel your way through it, and let the divine feminine within you do the rest. Men too! We All have divine feminine and masculine within.


FUCK the PMS story of crazy/bitchy!

You are a divine channel for transmutation! 

Your body chemistry is inviting you into your purpose, and sending signal to stale energies that the time to exit and return to light is now… and that lucky old YOU are the PLACE to make that happen.

YOU are a divine channel for transmutation of some seriously heavy shit…


If you have extreme annoyance, anger, or sadness with your PMS, you are actually being called to honor your gifts and help release these emotions out of the collective. Besides digging up old personal stuff you have yet to process (thank you, moon cycle, for this important gift), the negative energies of the collective see you and are attracted to you.

Don’t fret- they are not in “attack and conquer” mode- they want release and liberation back to love and light. They know and trust you to help them back home. They are asking for your help- to help the collective realize A New Earth.

Regardless of your gender identity or where you are in your moon cycle, it’s best to be alone when you’re in this state, even if that means laying in your bed or outside, the basement, etc. while your family is in the rest of the house. It’s also important to be as physically comfortable as possible.

Besides having a hard time interacting and it being hard on your energy field while you’re in this state,  you can actually be reasonably toxic even if you generally have good control of your energy field.

Unassuming empaths and People that don’t know about energy or just have not sealed up their own field can catch these contagious vibes, go have a crappy day, and accidentally pay it forward again.

And it’s never a reason to be snappy with other people. Don’t be crappy at people and say sorry you are in transmutation mode. That would be 100% ego. And if you need to not talk at all but are gonna be around people, don’t be a dick about that either. Talk long enough to explain politely or honestly remind others of your temporary boundaries. Remember: you’re wearing your big kid boots now. ?

Whether you’re active or need to be extremely still is up to your best intuition.

A combo of both seems to be most effective ultimately. Stillness is very, very important ultimately also. There is a point where being active can segue into avoidance of the intense sensations that can come with transmutation of low vibrations and negative energy. Try intervals, or spend the first half of the day being still and then get out and move, or vice versa if it’s going to be hot out.

So no. Transmutation is not just being happy.

It’s not an excuse to be rude to others or yourself, and it’s not an excuse to avoid doing other inner and outer work. And it’s definitely not an excuse to spiritually bypass or blow sunshine out your ass if it’s not authentic in the moment. Roll up your sleeves, admire and honor those big kid boots the universe has gifted you, make it as light as possible, and be INSANELY gentle with yourself.

And oh heyyyy!!

Eat some food every few hours, regardless of your hunger status. Seriously. Blood sugar dips will have you forgetting your purpose, what’s really going on, and take you spiraling down the wrong story line quicker than you can say “transmutation.”